If you choose to go through with your pregnancy, adoption is a common alternative you would be able to pursue, especially if you feel unready to care for a baby at this point in your life. This could occur when the child is a newborn, however, if you parent for a short while, and come to the final conclusion that you are truly unable to care for your child in the way they need, adoption is still an option, and does not have to only take place right after birth. 

Regardless of how or when adoption takes place, this is an event that will result in a sense of loss and grief, and it could potentially be helpful to talk with someone regularly after undergoing the adoption of your child into a new family. 

If you choose to go through with adoption, this does not mean that you will not have the opportunity to see your child. If an open adoption is pursued, you can still be a part of your baby’s life and growth process. Studies have shown that approximately 92% of children who were adopted have positive feelings about this parenting decision.

Adoption can exist in the following three forms:

  1. Open Adoption: You will be able to choose the family that your child joins, and communicate with them through phone calls, in-person visits, etc. You will be able to have a personal and unique relationship with your child even if you are not the one raising them.
  2. Semi-Open Adoption: You will not necessarily know your child’s full name or where they are, but you can communicate with them and their adoptive family through pictures and letters provided by a lawyer or adoption agency. You would ultimately get to choose the type of family you want your baby to be raised by.
  3. Closed Adoption: The choice of your child’s adoptive family is up to lawyers or the adoption agency. You will not be able to have specific information regarding your child or their adoptive family, but you would be able to exchange medical information that will allow your baby to be cared for by their new family in the best way possible. 

If you don’t feel as though you are able to care for your baby in the way that is best for them, do not feel shame about your decision to place your child into a family that can provide for their needs. It is a common decision among women experiencing unplanned pregnancies, and based upon your decision, you would still be able to maintain a relationship with your child and watch them grow. You will be able to know that your choice to go through with your pregnancy allowed your child to have the chance to be successful and flourish in life, and you can still be there to watch it all unfold.